Friday, January 26, 2007Y
this is wad u get from me
not wanting to rant but..
i have this cousin.. not wanting to speak bad about him.. but he got me thinking everytime he tried to talk to me thru msn.. i dunno.. he used to be a sweet kid when he was young(from wad lil i could rmb abt him).. but nowadays talking to him's been a real chore.. maybe it's the lack of topics.. or that i find him a lil irritating.. the words he use.. always "lame" here "lame" there.. faints.. but still sometimes he's quite ok la.. aiya dunno wad's wrong abt me.. i think i tend to take things too hard.. tried too much to analyse wad ppl do or say.. n end up feeling miserable.. awww well.. i'm trying hard to change..
hahas.. trying to learn from effective comm lesson.. sometimes perceptions may be wrong.. lol
i think i take things too seriously.. who knows ppl may actually be concerned abt me when they're talking to me.. especially about the fact that i'm fat.. but i still hate it when ppl say i'm fat when i know it's the truth.. of cos i know.. i mean.. i look in the mirror right.. but i cant help feeling that they're gloating at me.. that's y i flared up or become extremely upset.. no1 likes to be criticised rite? i know about keeping my cool etc.. let them say den say.. but sometimes even when u dont mean it.. it still hurts.. shrugs.. i think i go ard hurting ppl with my tactless remarks too.. must be my retribution.. hahas
i think i'd have less trouble if being fat is the "in" thing now.. hahas.. no need to worry about nt fitting into clothes n looking "ugly".. of cos i wan to be thin too.. but u cant expect every1 in the world to be thin la.. if every1 is thin.. no1 will be!! there's no comparison anymore!! if u like to see thin ppl walkin ard u go to some third world country n be a volunteer there.. =.- i know fats are unhealthy.. that's y i'm trying to cut fats now(ya trying is a big word actually)..
i actually dislike alot of things about myself.. this is wad u call.... insercurities? lol.. but i like enjoying myself doing the things which i like very much.. best if i dont have to worry abt wad others think.. luckily i'm a forgetful person.. lol
i dont think anyone cares about wad i'm doing though.. that's y it's stupid to care about wad others think.. hahas.. i evaluate too much.. but will forget after i post everyth up.. shrugs.. i want to be blissfully unaware though.. take the easy way out.. well it's me.. why should u care??! (=
- sometimes it becomes even harder to become happy when u try too hard -
12:26 AM
